St Michael’s RC secondary sat on a promontory overlooking the town of Auchenlea. The choice of site was an indirect consequence of a past mistake in vocational guidance, leading someone who had a pathological hatred of children into town planning, rather than the more traditional field of teaching.

I can’t ask you to banish your fears, your anxiety or your anger... But don’t let them use you up.

People didn’t really like McDonald’s, same as her mum didn’t really like Catholicism, but when you were new in town, at least it was a known quantity. So that’ll be a Quarter-Pounder and a Communion Wafer meal-deal to go.

Truth was, if you were going to believe something, it was best to believe in stuff that made the world seem a more interesting place.

My reaction to your news is delighted astonishment that Lanark has been judged more popular than a book by Ian Rankin, and only regret that this wonderful honour had no money attached to it!

They both looked younger than him, as well as taller, better built and undoubtedly more schooled in the noble art of punching fuck out of people. Nonetheless, younger doesn't necessarily mean faster or fitter, and Parlabane was highly schooled in the arguably less noble art of running away.

There can be only one

... when they hear hooves they look for zebras instead of horses

3 people get stranded on a remote IslandA Banker, a Daily Mail reader & an Asylum seekerAll they have to eat is a box of 10 Mars bars The Banker says "Because of my expertise in asset management, I''ll look after our resources"The other 2 agreeSo the Banker opens the box, gobbles down 9 of the Mars bars and hands the last one to the Daily Mail readerHe then says " I'd keep an eye on that Asylum seeker, he's after your Mars Bar

dawn was thinking about breaking, at the stage where it was rolling about under the sheets after its alarm had gone off, weighing up the pros and cons of getting out of bed.